saying goodbye to a good friend

It's no secret that one of the hardest things about living in Korea is having friends constantly coming and going. While it's always fun to say hi to the next person, it is often a bit painful to make a good, lifelong friend, only to have them move back to their home country or another country.

I went through this on Wednesday when I said goodbye to my good friend Kurt Archer, who is returning to the States after two years in Korea. We met for a last noraebang and a final kettle of makkeoli on the Sangin strip before he went home to get some sleep and catch the bus to Incheon the next day (actually I think he went in style with KTX and shuttle bus...a good call :P).

Kurt was a solid guy to have around. He got out of the whole expat bar scene early on and managed to make many Korean friends and experience more of the culture and society than most. In fact, I can't tell you how many Korean people I've met through Kurt who say to me "oh, Kurtis was my first foreign friend". We could hit the makkeoli bars and be sure to make a new Korean friend or do the noraebang and hit up the old 60's and 80's hits (our "Light my Fire" and "Satisfaction" duets were legendary... in a terrible sort of way). That being said, I know he was ready to return home after two years and I do think that no one should outstay their time. When you meet the bitter expats who have been living abroad so long that they hate it but see no way out (emphasis on see, they COULD leave at any time) it's sad. I knew when I was back in Vancouver that I wanted another tour in Korea, but when I no longer feel it, I will leave. In fact, Kurt might be the model of how to do the expat life right. Go in, see, meet and absorb with minimal cultural judgements, but leave before it completely loses it's charm (잠).

The plus side is that, unlike other friends who return to places like Halifax, New England or New South Wales or who will be returning to places like Toronto or New Zealand, or even those who plan to live the expat life forever in Asia, Kurt is a friend who is figuratively right down the road (he'll be in San Diego from this fall). So it really felt more like an "until next time" rather than a goodbye (not that those North American destinations are goodbye, or even the antipodean ones, but they aren't exactly a weekend getaway from Vancouver). San Diego really could be a three day weekend trip from YVR, and vice-versa.

I'm sure that, whatever Kurt does, he will kick ass at it. I'm actually excited to drop in on him next year or in 2013 and see what sort of Californian empire he's built for himself (Kurtopia I believe we called it). It'll be fun :)